Friday, May 27, 2011

Der Lämmergeier

{A Week Offline & A Sicknasty Bird Sighting}

We're back online, kittens. And I may or may not have had the most titillating bird-sighting of my life in the mean time. Meet the lämmergeier, aka the Mike Tyson of the bird kingdom.


Let's review:

Species: der lämmergeier
Also known as: the bearded vulture
Wingspan: ten feet
Superpower: Can swallow entire sheep femurs whole and dissolve the bone into mush using its nuclear reactor of a digestive system.
Distinctive features: Unlike most vultures, the lämmergeier has a feathered head, including a cartoonish wispy beard reminiscent of Ethan Hawke's more committed attempts at facial hair in the mid-nineties.
Favorite indulgences: Sucking bone marrow from bighorn sheep bones; cavorting over the Himalayas; covering itself in mud; dropping tortoises/animals from great heights onto rocks wherefore to break hard exoskeletons/bones.



Pretty amazing, right? I'm going to find-all-replace the word "bad-ass" with the word "lämmergeier" from now on.  Heaps and heaps of posts coming your way (yaks! tent camps! the perils of Himalayan driving!) so stay tuned.

10 comments:

  1. That's a helluva wingspan. You see the coolest stuff. I need to hire you as a tour guide of wherever you are so I can start seeing some "lammergeier" stuffs.

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  2. Just wanted to let you know: it's "der" Lämmergeier in German ;)

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  3. Yikes. And here I thought the Canadian geese who accost me on my walk to work were scary!

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  4. Good lord. That's terrifying.

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  5. so so very jealous lily! of ladakh and lammergeier sitings.

    i WAS going to say my feline Mike T. Bart could go up against your ornithological specimen AND day till I read the wingspan part and then the nuclear digestive part.......

    yeah could you please organize a real life trip to ladakh for big bang fans only?

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  6. Staying tuned!!! As ALWAYS!

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  7. i-want-that-tee- Thank goodness for you. Spanx.

    bigBANG trip to Ladakh summer 2012, mkay guys?

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